Good day, Internet!
I am a cis white feminist. This is my blog.
I AM WRITING SOMETHING ENRAGING THAT I KNOW WILL PISS YOU OFF.
If I know it will piss you off, why would I write it? Because it will “start a debate”? Because it’s “my perspective on a complicated topic”? Because I believe that it’s “true”?
WHO CARES? Here is a cute picture of my daughter:
(I am tempted to say something provocative about her, too, like how much smarter and prettier and well-behaved she is compared to YOUR helicopter-parented kid, but that would be off topic. Another day, perhaps.)
NOW I AM WRITING SOMETHING EVEN MORE OBNOXIOUS THAN THE PREVIOUS THING!
Didn’t see that coming, did ya?
Go give it a hashtag. I’ll wait.
While I’ll wait I’ll keep myself busy appropriating Flavia Dzodan’s “my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit” to express an opinion that is less feminist than self-aggrandizing.
After all, I feel great about myself for writing something so deliberately outrageous that my pageviews have gone through the roof. Numbers validate me!
Oh dear. You didn’t like what I said. You called it “problematic.”
This hurts my feelings.
I justify myself by calling you a bully, and why not? You hurt my feelings.
I don’t like it when people hurt my feelings, so… I DIG IN DEEPER AND REFUSE TO ACCEPT ANYONE ELSE’S POINT OF VIEW.
Why should I? The inflammatory blog post has gone viral. VIRAL, DAMMIT!
Besides, it’s a well-known fact that obstinacy confers accuracy.
I think I’m going to break that down and bold it, just for fun: REFUSING TO BUDGE ON MY INITIAL STATEMENT ACTUALLY MAKES IT MORE TRUE!
Don’t ask me to prove it. Instead, look at this picture of my son and me at Gasthof zur Gemutlichkeit:
You leave me a comment. I leave one that’s longer and meaner and ends with “THIS IS MY BLOG, IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT YOU CAN LEAVE.”
Also: “WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS, THE PATRIARCHY WINS.”
I might need to bold that one too….
WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT HURTS MY FEELINGS, THE PATRIARCHY WINS.
Put that in your sausage and smooch it!
I hope we’ve learned something today. I know I have.
And that’s what counts.