Summer is a marvelous time to settle into the nearest nylon-webbed chair and catch up on all your reading. And I don’t mean just any reading–I mean FUN reading! Summer is a time for cornball genre fiction that you wouldn’t dare read in December. It’s for putting aside the classy graphic novels in favor of comic books.
Sadly, I am not taking my own advice because I thought it would be “fun” to join my son in reading the summer assignment for his upcoming AP English Literature class. I enjoyed Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go, but Atonement was so awful it made me want to make Ian McEwan beg for MY forgiveness. Right now I can safely say that I am the only parent at Lake Harriet reading Jane Eyre and not The Girl on the Train.
I KNEW IT!
While I’m not reading anything terribly fun, I’ve written some stuff lately that I know you’ll like, in both analog and digital iterations.
Read on your screens:
“What Do ALL Women Want?” Minnesota Women’s Press, May 2015 issue
As a parent of a certain age, I haven’t had the stamina to watch award-worthy films since the 20th century, so when “The Lego Movie” was snubbed for Best Animated Feature, I knew I would probably skip watching the Academy Awards in February….but I witnessed my Twitter timeline explode with the news that Patricia Arquette used her 30 seconds in the worldwide spotlight to call for “pay equity once and for all.” Wow! When was the last time you heard someone talk about pay equity on television? Network television?
“Stuck in the Middle With Shingles,” The Mid, June 8, 2015
Since my family failed to support me, I turned to Google, good old nonjudgmental Google, and entered the search terms “hot rash back lumpy.” The amateur diagnosis? Shingles.
I am too young for shingles!
Yet when the nurse practitioner at the Minute Clinic took a peek, the first word out of her mouth was “herpes.”
I am too old for herpes!
“Better Known Than Unknown” Mamalode, June 11, 2015
Mothers assume we are well-equipped to manage the balance between risk and reward, between health and hazard, but one rainy August afternoon I tipped the scales so far they broke—to protect my son from dust mites, I nearly drove him into a funnel cloud.
Read in paperback:
“A Dose of Surreality,” from Motherhood May Cause Drowsiness, 2nd Edition, edited by Tina Beitler, Kristi Campbell, and Lisa Nolan
With all the grace of a reanimated corpse, I lurched across the tilting hardwood floor and was struck with panic: had I been terribly mistaken in my interpretation of that afternoon’s events? Was I on a lower plane of existence, not higher? Had divine judgment been handed down upon me when I wasn’t paying attention? Was it my fate to spend eternity suffering from vertigo while being screamed at by a hysterical, sleep-deprived toddler? All for the crime of sometimes letting the kids have yogurt made with high fructose corn syrup??
Available NOW from Monkey Star Press! Warning: may make you extremely sleepy
“Of Woman Grown,” from Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe and WTF?!, edited by Shannon Day and Tara Wilson
I had so little left to enjoy these days: no alcohol, no caffeine, no regular bowel movements. Dr. Farber handed me a pamphlet titled Pregnancy Nutrition And You, a title that already implied that the two were in opposition to one another. Even worse, the beaming mother in the pamphlet photograph didn’t look puffy and bloated like me; with only her belly distended, she looked like she’d just had her fill of unlimited breadsticks at Olive Garden. A dangerous thought entered my dizzy, hormonal brain: maybe the pregnant do not have free reign to consume massive amounts of foods that sensible people restrict, like Laffy Taffy, glazed donuts and Orville Redenbacher’s Movie Theater Popcorn Now With Extra Butter.
Available NOW from Tipsy Squirrel Press! Warning: may make you extremely thirsty
What are YOU reading this summer?